Trash

If I can't live with the folks on the East Bench,
at least I can buy their crap.
This mirror is pre 1900's.
Easily sold for $200. I paid $20.
The old man said that it was his first wife's mirror and it had been
in her family for millions of years.
He was selling it because his second wife didn't like it.
Gotta please your woman I suppose.
I haven't been so blessed in my garage sailing escapades since last summer
when I met the love of my life, Blue Dresser.

Second find. Mini island. $5. I can chop so many things on this block.
Callin told me the picture wouldn't
be complete without his plumber's tape display.

(Note the creepy, off center rat tail he's working.)
(Note Toben being really cute.)

SALTsa

Big week this week.

Monday-no work.
Tuesday-chips and salsa for dinner
Wednesday-fafsa
Thursday-dentist
Friday-brace face

Yep, for the next 18 months you can call me metal mouth. I'm a bit curious to see if I'll look like a 12 year old married to a pedi 30 year old.
I wonder if I can make it 18 months without smiling. I can definitely cut fake smiles out of the equation. Fake smiles my my soul hurt. I just pray that I won't get the Braces Lip Syndrome. You know where your lips morph into horse lips so they don't get caught on the brackets? Hideous.

Oh and about the fafsa. In August I will be walking the halls of the Utah College of Massage Therapy. You have no idea how excited I am. The biggest response I get when I tell peeps what I'm doing is.."You really want to touch gross hairy backs?!"

Yes. That is exactly why I am paying thousands of dollars. To play with man back hair.

At least I got free crepes

Don't you hate it when you miss a wedding that you're supposed to be a part of?
Oh, that's never happened to you? Well it happened to me. I was a bridesmaid.

Let's flashback to that day. June 19, 2010.

Go to first wedding of the day. Cousin's wedding in Draper in the a.m.
Phone dies around noon.
Leave Draper to make it to Provo Canyon for the ceremony.
Get lost in some Draper neighborhood for a good 10 min.(I really take for granted Provo's grid system)
Make it onto the freeway after 20 minutes of searching.
Drive 55 mph on freeway because of construction and I'm too scared to speed.
Make it to the canyon by 2:20 ish. Should have been there by 1:30.
Assume that the wedding is somewhere up South Fork.
Pull up to what I think is the wedding.
Sit in car to see if I can anyone I recognize.
Drive further up canyon because I didn't see anyone I knew.
Pass Big Springs.
Freak out because I had no idea Big Springs was in Provo this whole time. I swear it took like 30 hours on the bus for 5th grade camp.
Drive all the way to the top until I can't go anymore.
Turn back and drive back to the wedding I saw and get out of car and walk up to the wedding.
Feel awesome because it's obvious that I do not belong there.
Feel like crying because I have NO idea what to do next and I'm sweating in my cute dress.
Gas light turns on.
Go home.
Charge phone and come to find out the ceremony was about a mile away from where I was.
Text bride and tell her what happened.
Bride writes back to tell she isn't mad. She just thought I had been in an accident.
Feel happy.
Go to reception and eat good food and hang out with Steff and Sam.
Happy.

Thank Ye

Thanks Warner and Sam for tearing out that hideous vinyl picket fence in our front yard. And a double thanks to Warner who got tricked into biking 10 miles just to do it.

Oh and an extra double thanks to Sam who got peed on by the previous neighbor's Autumn leaf juice.
Now onto more important things.



This color plus....this old changing table= you'll just have to wait and see.
I can hardly wait.

Big News!!

...you thought I was going to say I was knocked up didn't you? Tricked you. Moving on.

In case you were wondering, here are my top favorite smells.
In no particular order. It's like animals, I can't choose just one.

Pizza Parlors-wait this might be my favorite. .
Gasoline- makes my mouth water.
Lacquer
Nail Polish
Shoe Polish
Boat Exhaust
Nail Salons
Farm Smell/Horse Manure-yea
Plastic-specifically the plastic sticky things that you put on your windows for holidays.
Foam Stickers-remember those puffy stickers?
Yearbooks
The smell of the silver wrapping when you take it off the disposable camera
Chalk Dust

That about sums it up. I almost want to add Skunk to that list but I'm not sure if I really like the smell or if it just makes me miss home. Oh West Provo, you raised me right.

Don't mess with the Zohan

I guess it's about time to start posting housey pictures.
I won't be showing full before and afters until everything is done which we anticipate to be in
January of 2035.
This wall is in the dining room. . I just need about 2,ooo more frames to complete the look.
I'll post the finished product if I remember.

This Petal lamp was done with an Ikea lamp shade and 300 hand-cut pieces of felt.
I now hate felt but I love lamp.

Bye.

Hot Heat

Soooo remember that post where I talked about my sweaty issues? (I'm not going to add a link from that post because I'm not that invested in my blog.) Turns out, that Degree deodorant sucks. It worked for a DAY and then decided it was more fun to let me fend for myself. A few years ago, my cousins, Sam and Steff told me about Ban. I trust their clammy opinions so I tried it. I OWE MY SOCIAL LIFE TO BAN. Yea, it's that good. You don't get that BO smell mixed with baby powder and the best thing is, you don't sweat. Now if only they would invent something for bang sweat, that's the worst.

Now onto cooler stuff. Ty and I just celebrated 3 years of wedded bliss. Forget Anniversary Inn, we attended a home fire safety class... We also got free food at Carrabba's for going. Which probably wasn't the best idea on Carrabba's part because tt's kind of hard to eat when you're hearing depressing stories of faulty fire alarms and asphyxiation. Sometimes free food isn't that worth it. I want to apologize to my sister, bro-in-law, Dave and Tara. I think I may have 4 less friends now.

The Chocolate made it all better. Please go there. And please please get the Kazookie. You will leave a better person.

Oh yeah, after 3 years of hand mixing EVERYTHING, my hand muscles were tired.

Come to Mama.

Who needs college when you have a mind like mine?

Does this ever happen to you?

You see someone in real life that you blog-stalk daily. You possibly went to high school with them but were in different social groups or maybe you know them through a friend. If they saw you, they would more than likely recognize you too.

Through following their blog, you know everything about them. You know what their new house, husband or baby looks like. You know that yesterday, they had a really bad day or how fat they think they are. After a few months of stalking, you feel like you're really getting a sense of this person/people and maybe even want to be their friend in the real world. Or even creepier, you want their husband and your husband to be friends.

So there you are at the store/mall/restaurant, you see them, they see you. You know each other well enough from high school or mutual friend to both say Hi but...uhh then what? You can't exactly start jabbering on about their latest trip to the Ocean because you will probably get maced in the face. But you can't exactly fake not knowing them because that's lying. And chances are they read your blog too and you both know that you read each other's blog. Double crap.

Neither one of you can be the vulnerable one by trying to awkwardly jump start the convo so you just end up standing there for a few seconds before saying, "It was good to see you!" with a big fake, dry mouthed smile and then go home in anticipation for their next post.

Am I too bold to say that blogs might be ruining lives and making our anti-social society even MORE anti-social? Or maybe, I'm just ultra creepy.

Miss Me?

Coco's Guide for the perfect shower.

Rule #1 There is magic in the details. Plastic frozen ice-cube babies are always a hit.
Rule #2 If there is no food for the first hour, it could get awkward. Make sure the food is the FIRST guest.
Rule #3 Never stop texting.
Rule #4 Shoot for that the shabby chic look in your home. Spackled floors and wires shooting out of walls are my personal favorite.
Rule #5 Don't try to bribe little girls for their last sucker. It's just mean.
Rule #6 Make sure to seek out the person of honor and attempt to re-enact a tender moment from a wedding you recently attended.
Rule #7 Refer to Rule #2
Rule #8 Keep the person of honor happy. Sashes and tiaras are a must for any occasion.

There you have it. When it comes to showers of any kind. Go big or go home.

Love you Chels.

GO HERE! Somewherebetweenfateandchance.blogspot.com.. You will see life so different. Good different. DO IT NOW.