B slapped

I am here. Eating really good cookies that Tyler made. Every time I make cookies they turn out to look like biscuits, or I forget to add an unnecessary ingredient like baking soda or something equally as dumb. He really is better than me at everything, except driving. He sucks a driving. He loves to slam on the brakes and make my head fly forward.

Back to eating. I am eating these cookies. It's almost 11 a.m.

I really shouldn't be eating cookies so early, or at all for that matter.

Sometimes I wish I had someone standing by all day to slap me whenever I get out of hand.

I can't count on myself for to control my eating habits but if I had someone there to slap me into reality, well I would probably get really pissed cause I had just gotten slapped, but in the end I would know that they only want the best for me and my bod.

One time in 2006 when I was living on my cousin Steffany's floor at the Riv Riv(Riviera Apts)(Apartments) we both woke up at the same time exact same time. I then had the thought that I had never been slapped and really wanted to know what it felt like. Steffany submitted graciously and the slapping commenced. Back and forth with slaps. Me then her. Her then me. It hurt but we laughed. A lot. We still laugh a lot when we talk about it every time we see each other.

Something scary happened today at work. I was typing in a web address that started with the letters "sin". Thinking that I didn't need to type in the rest of the address, I pushed enter. Didn't take me to where I wanted to go. Instead, it took me to a site that said I was in a restricted porn site. Awesome time. When I went to new employee orientation the lady said that if anyone looks at porn, they will be fired. No questions asked. IF they would only ask, I would tell them that I don't even like porn. That I only wanted to go to this other website that talks about lots of platonic things. No porn anywhere. That I have a computer at home to look at porn until my cup over flows with porn. If that's what I want. I am so fired.


Oh another thing just happened. The UPS guy just came and dropped off a package. We start on the safe subject of weather. I say how I hope it stays warm. He asks me where I live. I say I live by the Temple. He says he can't wait to wear shorts during summer. I say me too. He asks me if I wear shorts..I say yes. He stops to think. About me in shorts. I start to cry inside. He then asks what else I wear in the summer. I shrink behind the counter and say I wear flip-flops. He asks if I wear hats. I say no. He says that he hears that girls look hot with hats on. I tell him I look ugly in hats. He tells me I should wear one this summer and he will come see what I look like in a hat. I smiled and cried a little more.