Mom Jeans?

The other day I was at D.I.(not D.I.s, not "The D.I.") just D.I. and I was looking for an ugly sweater for my work's ugly sweater day. I, of course, do not own anything ugly, so that's what brought me to this wonderful store. What am I saying? I don't need to make excuses for going to D.I.! I love D.I.! Anyway...There are times when you go to D.I. and find some really cool things. Most times you don't. I was taking my time looking around and trying to decide between the South Western print sweater vest or the 1950's, itchy wool, high school gold colored, button-up cardigan. I then slowly wandered over to the jeans section. Just kinda looking around. It was a good day for 2nd hand jeans! I found a few pair of cute jeans. Don't ask me what brands they were, one of those right in the middle price rang brands like Mossimo something or other. I also found a brand of "Bitten" jeans, you know Sarah Jessica Parker's brand? I feel like I have a kinship with her. She used to have a dark mole under her bottom lip that has now turned colorless. I too have a mole(I call it a beauty mark) in the same spot. Lately I have been noticing that it has been losing color and will someday be totally void of color. Sick. Me and her, we're the same. So I go try these jeans on and they're all too big, too long or too used. I finally get to the "Bitten" jeans and they fit like a freakin glove! A used glove of course, but still. As women don't we all struggle with finding that perfect jean? I know I do. These babies are almost perfect. I have been struggling with the whole "low ride" craze that just won't go away. I just don't love showing my crack to the world every time I bend over. I and HATE doing that weird sideways, one arm reach bend that you have to do just to try NOT to show crackage..you all know what I'm talking about. These jeans are about an inch below the belly button. Pretty high considering where most pants fall. They make my glutes look fab and don't have to worry about that Costco muffin top following me around all day.
$9 dollars later(I chose the itchy, wool cardigan)I get home and put these finds in the washer with scalding water and bleach(color safe) to un-D.I. them. After all that business, I triumphantly put them on to show Ty my sweet buy of the week, this is all he says. "So are those considered Mom Jeans?" I didn't know whether to cry or kill him for being a..well..man. I had to stand up for my girl Sarah! "No these are not Mom Jeans!" "Do I HAVE a Front Butt!?" I looked down just to make sure, phew! No Front Butt.
After that little explosion, I was calm again. I nicely explained to my husband that pants do not have to sit on your pelvic bone or make you look like you have webbed legs just to look good. They can be cute AND still cover those unspoken of places. And I proved that.
Thank you Sarah.
Sincerely your mole twin.