Memoirs of a texter

About 3 months ago I got a new phone along with a new number. Since that time I have been texted by many a people thinking that they are talking to their best friend Becky. I am not Becky. But sometimes I pretend that I am. One instance I told Becky's friend that I wouldn't share my chocolate that she said I had stashed in my underwear drawer. I also told her that I couldn't continue with this charade and that I need to get away. She called me(I mean Becky) at some point during this emotional struggle saying that this wasn't a charade. It was apparently a real thing. She reminded Becky of the times when they would sing songs together and all of their other great and special moments. Those were good times for Becky. I finally got bored and told her that she had the wrong number. Fortunately Becky's friend had short term memory loss and had forgotten that she had bled her heart out over two voice mails and apologized to ME for having the wrong number. Weird.

Today I don't think I was Becky. But someone thought they were talking to someone else they knew. I couldn't resist. Enjoy.

Unknown girl: Hey Katie and Sarah will be in @ 1o. They have clients this morning but they will
be in after that. But Haily will be there:)
Me: They need to be here on time.
Unknown: They will be in at 10:)
Me:That's no excuse, I'm so sick of this.
Unknown: Tell me about it:)
Me: I really hate them.
(At this point I figured I should figure out if I am a man or woman)
Me: I need to let my hair down and get crunk tonight.
Me: I need a good man.
Unknown: Me too!
Me: It's been too long.
Unknown: Like Sawyer. The guy from Lost:)
Me: Or Clay Aiken
Unknown: Gross! I just threw up in my mouth.
Me: He can sing me to sleep any night.
Unknown: uh gay.
Me: Or Tyler Jarman......(trying to see if this person is from Provo.)
Unknown: Who that?
Me: Hottest guy in Provo.
Unknown: Damn! You will have to show me yer Tyler guy.
Me: I'll let you hold his hand.
Unknown: Or Bob the something guy.
Me: Eff Bob
Unknown: Hey we got an extra girl for you guys!
Me: Extra for what?
Unknown: Your BYU girls
Me: Go Utes
Unknown: Are you on something? A little Smokey smokey?
Me: No I just ran out. Need to get some during lunch.
Unknown: (deleted text)
Me: You should consider online dating.
Unknown: Too many freaks:)
Me: Clock is ticking...
Unknown: you like that? haha

(Around this time things get boring so I try to get more info.)

Me: Who wouldn't. I really hate my name.
Unknown: Change it. Who is this? Your split personality?
Me: My name sounds really dumb.
Unknown: I like lafawnduh hahaha.
Me: I want to be a girl.
Unknown: O.....K.....be a girl.
Me: when will I see you?
Unknown: @ 2 unless you want me sooner :)
Me: We should talk more about Tyler when you get here.
Unknown: Ok
Me: Love you.
Unknown: You are high I knew it. Whatever gets you through the day:)
Me: I really do.
Boring Girl: Want any snacks? I going to Wal-Mart before I come:)
Me: No on a diet.
Boring Girl: Maybe I will get some tattoos:)
Me: Get me a butterfly for my lower back.
Boring Girl: Ok How bout a Loch Ness monster haha
Me: Too scary.
Boring Girl: You seen Paul Blart? :)
Me: Mall Cop
Boring Girl: ya
(I got bored so I stopped)

4 hours later
Dumb Girl:Ugh the desk wants to know if 2 of the girls there can come back to
the school to do dispense and take clients? You been busy?
Me: Sorry you got the wrong number.
Dumb Hair school Girl: haha that's what I thought:)
Me: Smart girl
Hair school Girl: On my way over:)

It is now 2:11 p.m. I don't this girl has caught on yet but I don't know how long I can
continue with this. What do you think??