how to strengthen your marriage

This weekend we had people over for dinner. Right before they got to our house, we got in a fight. I think it had to do with me thinking Tyler didn't do the dishes enough or something. When our guests arrived, we were still fuming. At our dinner table we have 4 chairs. One of the chairs has a broken leg. I decided to be a good host and let our friends use the functional chairs and I took the lame chair. I sat down to eat and forgot about the tripod chair. The chair buckled under my clumsy weight and I slipped halfway under the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tyler watching the whole scene play out. He was the only one who noticed and he tried really hard not to laugh. Fight over. If only there were more 3 legged chairs in my life.

walking can be fun

Hey.

If you're Coocoo for Coco, register to be on my team for the MS Walk fundraiser on April 30th in SLC. You can donate money that goes towards research and finding a cure for this nasty disease but if you don't donate, please come walk with me(I would probably love that more anyway). It's free.

I am sososososososo excited for this walk. I start bawling just thinking about all of the love and support I have already felt from everyone that I know. Seeing that sea of Orange in Salt Lake is seriously going to be the kicker. Freakin bawl baby.

The next segment I write is more for my records than anything. I have touched on some of these points in an earlier post but I need to remember every detail. I realize I can write it in a journal but writing makes my hand hurt.

The day that I got my spinal tap was also the day that my family, my uncle's fam and my grandparents had planned to go up to my sister's mission president's cabin. I was told that there was a good chance that I wouldn't feel good enough to do anything for 24 hours after the procedure but you know me, when someone tells me No, I say eff that.

Ty and I rode up with Meg and Callin. I got the front seat. You automatically get whatever you want when you get spinal taps. I started to get ridiculously dizzy and nauseated so that sucked.
Next day. Went shopping in Park City. Felt kind of crappy but I made it through. Even managed to buy some things in between dizzy spells. Go me.

Enter best friend. Mykenzie Hydo. We went to all years of school together and hardly interacted until about a year ago when she said she had a strange prompting to get in contact with me. Who wouldn't want a best friend like that? At this point, she didn't know about my diagnosis and she happened to call me while I was shopping. She asked me how things were going so I told her. Then the most amazing thing happened.

Mykenzie: Courtney, remember how we're best friends?
Me: yea
Myk: remember how we are meant to be in each other's lives?
Me: yea..
Myk: did you forget that my internship is at the National MS Society of Utah?...
Me: *bawling* (I completely forgot that she had told me this months before I got sick)
She is my lifeline when it comes to the latest news and treatments. I do love her.

back to the cabin weekend...

that night I felt really horrible so we all hung out on our bed (ty and I got the master bedroom, thank you spinal tap) and watched Across the Universe.

I also got the chance to get an amazing blessing from my dad. In the blessing he told me that I would live to see my children grow up. The fact that I wouldn't, was one of my biggest, unspoken fears. In that moment, I felt completely uplifted.
Afterwards, we all sat around the fireplace, talked, cried, laughed a lot, sang and I savored every second of it.

Sunday was THE hell of my hell month. I woke up and tried lifting my head off my pillow. Just that small action made me feel like I was being spun in an office chair at full speed. I really wish I could describe how horrible this feeling was just trying to sit up. It took at least 10 tries. Even the slightest movement sent me into dizzy spell after dizzy spell. With my amazingly patient husband's help, I got into the shower.

I stood there in the shower with my eyes closed, pride swallowed and heart full. My love and respect for him reached an entirely new level when he stood there with me and washed my back.

With my balance being off, If I wanted to walk anywhere in the cabin, I needed someone to be there to keep me upright. Otherwise, I would run myself right into the wall, floor, table, railing, etc.
After breakfast, we got me into the truck and drove home. Once we got home, I couldn't walk myself into the house so my dad carried me in and put me on the couch. Once I was settled down, the car ride caught up to me and I threw up my breakfast. Awesome.

Everyone went home and the night just got worse. After a few hours of hellish hell, we decided a trip to the ER would possibly help. For some reason, which I can't remember now, we couldn't take our car so we called my bro and sis-in-law, Ali and Warner to pick us up. They were so amazing and didn't laugh when they saw me wearing Ty's giant flannel shirt and my giant grey sweat pants. We got to the ER and of course once I sit down, I violently throw up which makes everyone in the room scatter away from us. Super.
Ali and Warner stayed and kept us company for a good two hours.
Again, a new level of love.
We finally got a room and after the wheelchair ride back, you guessed it, upchuck time.
My mother-in-law, Lydia came and stayed with us until 2 a.m.
Love level.
I got an IV of something that was supposed to help with the dizziness and nausea. I can't remember if it worked though...maybe that means it did?

She took us home and we slept for a long time.

to the beat ya'll

My heart grows when I discover new music.
Justin Nozuka
Ron Pope
The Xx
Yeah Yeah Yeahs-I knew who they were but I am just now fully appreciating them
Florence + the Machine-the love has been going strong for a while

I also rekindled my love for R&B in the recent weeks.

112, Brian McKnight, Dru Hill, Monica, En Vogue, Jagged Edge, Tyrese, Ashanti, Jon B., Baby Face, Boyz II Men, SWV, TLC, Ginuwine, Black Street, LL Cool J, etc etc etc. Oh I could just go on and ON.

I never could resist a boy with a great "Slow Jamz" CD.
Not that there were a lot of boys, maybe 2 or 3...I'll just stop there.
These days, all a boy has to do is swear at a girl or NOT pay for dinner and he gets lucky.
Talk about LAAAZY!

Pearl, at work, tells me that she's never met a white girl who loves R&B as much as I do. She told me that I'm black on the inside. I'll accept that.

The song that I can't get enough of lately is a Tears for Fears song called Mad World. I love the Donnie Darko version the best. Dean plays this song during yoga. There is something magical about crazy contortionists mixed with creepy songs. I die happy every time.

I'm hating Lady Gaga lately. Basically, if you're clinically insane with daddy issues, you can call yourself a "creative artist" and Hollywood is all over it. Have you read the Hunger Games? Hollywood reminds me of the nut jobs in the Capitol.
I couldn't care less about the Oscars, Golden Globes, Grammys, Emmys, etc.
Would you waste two hours of your day watching all the rich, popular kids talk about how cool they are?
No, you wouldn't.
So why do you?