Selfless

I have a new found respect for working mothers. I have taken for granted all of those precious minutes every morning that I take to get ready. Every hour to myself reading. Every bathroom trip and every quiet second to reflect. Tyler and I have been baby sitting his four cousins for the past five days. I have not and will not be taking any days off. So for now, I am a working mom. It's draining.

I actually look forward to going to work so I can have a few hours to think. But. When I'm at work, I just want to be back with the kids. We have 9 days to go. Never have I been more emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted in my life. The kids aren't even hard. It's probably more in my head than anything. Worrying about if they will make it to school on time, keeping their bellies full, their faces smiling and most of all, keeping them alive.

This experience has also shed some light on the man I though I knew...

We have been together 5 years. In this small window of time, I thought I really knew him. What makes him happy, mad, sad etc. There is always something to learn. From the very first day, I noticed a change in Tyler.

He is the happiest I have ever seen him.

When one child is crying, one child is yelling and the other two are making the Tazmanian Devil look like a little lamb, Tyler is smiling his perfect smile and laughing his contagious, squinty-eyed laugh.

I don't get it.

He should be stressed out, pulling his hair out, curled up in a corner. Stressed.

Not Tyler.

He always seems to find the perfect thing to say to help each and every situation. The kids love him and he loves them. It's hard NOT to notice.

I sit back and watch him be him.

My chambered heart bursts with love.

BIG NEWS

Please note that Saladsforlife will be out of comission in 3 days. You can now listen to my nonsensicals at

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loversandtreehugger.blogspot.com

Make the change or else. Nothing. Just do it.

Short Thoughts

Since having this new hair, or lack of, I have noticed some things.
When I get ready for the day, 5 times out of ten have to change outfits because that particular choice doesn't go with short hair. Like today. I started off wearing a sweater vest. A month ago it would have looked fine because the length of my hair made me look fun and carefree and that counteracted the business style of the vest. Now the short do' just adds to the business style and I can't look too professional cause than I just look uptight.

Second and biggest observation I have noticed is how every single man has reacted to my hair. I have been confronted by many men at work that decide it's their civic duty to tell me that they liked my long hair better...why? Why men, why?! All of a sudden they have an opinion?
How am I supposed to respond when they tell me this?

Thanks? I'll start growing out again? Sorry that I disappointed you?

It's just a phase I'm going through?

I just end up just getting mad because for a second I feel like I have to explain myself to them. I hate explaining my actions to people. So...naturally this gets me thinking. Why do men like long hair so much? This is my theory...
When men think of their ideal woman, they think of a young woman. Young woman are girls in high school. Most high school girls have long hair. High school girls are fun, spontaneous, and peppy. Woman, if they decide cut their hair, it's once they have a family and children. Things start to slow down in the fun, and spontaneous area.
long hair=young, peppy
short hair=old, boring
So now, when men tell me that they liked my hair better when it was long, I just get creeped out because what they're really thinking is, "Man, I really like high school girls."

Last observation. Having long hair doesn't mean it looks good on you. Woman get caught up in thinking that they have to have long hair to be pretty and feminine. Not the case. If you have the right style that frames and flatters your face, it will make you look better than long hair ever could. I think maybe woman have the same thought as men. They need to keep their long hair cause that's what they had in high school and that's when they looked their best.

People change! Your hair should too!

yes

Organic Girls is up. My article should be posted within this next week.

wooohoo!

Jode-Man

When some one tries to tell mom what to do, her famous phrases are:

"I'll decide" and "Don't tell ME"

Mom loves to sing and dance along with her trusty ipod. She often times sings to strangers. Most of the time it is while she is in the middle of a Coheed & Cambria or an Incubus song.... I'm surprised she hasn't been called into the bishop's office yet.

She loves to talk with her hands when she is describing things. Her favorite word to describe anything is 'very'.

(imagine sprinkle fingers)

"Very juicy" "Very Moist" "Very Delicate"

She once mooned the Mail Man just for a good laugh.

Mom detests love stories, sappy love movies and love books. She gags at the thought of watching people confess their love and kiss and cry all in one movie. Me and Meagan had to DRAG her into the movie 'My Sister's Keeper'. It really was a 20 minute power struggle. She gave in but of course, would not shed a tear. All she needs are a few explosions and some gun shots and she is a happy woman... I guess that means my love of Lifetime movies come from my grandma Medonich.

When mom cooks, she makes us ooooohh and aahhhh through the whole meal to show our satisfaction.

She won't put up with "Bad Signage" for garage sales. She also hates driving while we are garage sailing. I think all the turning and starting and stopping confuses her.

She will not be caught dead playing silly, fun group games like Charades and Pictionary.

She acts tough and untouchable but she is really just a very skinny, attractive Teddy Bear.

Mom we love you.

Love,

Coco and Meg

Beaut

Look how good I look. I promise this picture wasn't planned. I always look this good.

**Pictures courtesy of Meagan Henson and her iphone**
The true color is better represented in the first few pictures. Thanks for helping sister Meagan. Thank you Mom for talking me out of leaving the flower applique on the drawer despite Meag's best efforts. Thank you dad for letting us live at the shop and eating Zub's with us.

Paint Fumes

Yard sale. $25. Me likey.

Hi.

Finished product coming in due time. Or tomorrow.

p.s. can almonds go stale?

Surrender, no. Please?! FINE.

The plea has been plead. Tyler asked me to stop being so sarcastic all the time. Apparently it hurts his feelings. If I didn't love him so much I would call him a baby. But I won't.

This is like asking me to stop breathing or eating or watching Lifetime! Oh man. How does one change a way of thinking? A way of life?! *breathe Courtney*

If I don't have sarcasm, what do I have? I'll tell you.

Niceness and vulnerability. Hard pill to swallow.

I am now asking for your help. Please verbally slap me if you hear me saying anything even potentially sarcastic.

I REALLY REALLY NEED YOUR HELP!

p.s. my anti-sarcasm starts and ends with Tyler. I will still be the same cynical person here.

Blessed with Nothing

For as long as I can remember I have always associated being blessed with receiving things. Until recently.

It just hit me today that me and Tyler have been blessed by NOT getting what we want.

For the past year, we have been toying with the idea of buying a house. We started looking, planning, and saving(kind of). The market has been so good and it would be such a great time to buy. Along with the hope and excitement of possibly being home owners, came the stress and anxiety. Would we be able to afford everything that goes along with owning? What if one of us loses our job? Do I want to work once I have babies? Will I HAVE to work? Will Tyler mow the lawn? Lots of questions.

I needed to build my credit in order for us to even qualify for a home loan. I applied for a credit card. Got denied because I have no credit. I started to get a little frustrated(apparently it doesn't take much for me to give up).

We stopped house hunting and that's when I realized something.

I don't need a house. I don't need added stress and debt. I am just fine with renting. All we need is somewhere to sleep, eat and make glorious memories. It's even kind of fun to make bets on if our land lord hates more than she did last week.

More rooms and more land won't make us any happier.

After we stopped looking was when I finally felt peace and calm.

It's not the right time and I am so glad that I recognized that.

Not having a home feels good.

For the past eight months we have been trying to get pregnant. Once you have the yearning, it doesn't go away. You feel like there is some piece of you heart missing. You always think that when you're ready for kids it will just happen cause that's what you're made to do. It's really really hard to know that it doesn't come as naturally to me as it does to everyone around me. I can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. It can make you resent and covet and not be happy for those around you who have kids. Those are ugly feelings that I hate having. It really tries your faith and your willingness to submit to the will of the Lord. Somethings cannot be controlled by me. Every so often something happens that makes me realize we are blessed to not have a baby right now. Through this struggle I have come to want children for such different reasons than I did inititally. Which I know was supposed to happen. I have such a different outlook on motherhood all together. I know that we will be able to have children someday. When it's right for US.

It's so strange to think that there is someone that knows our situation even better than we do. But it's true. I didn't learn this until I was forced to learn it. I am so glad I know it now.

I love the church so much I could cry right now! But I won't. Cause I'm at work.

Commoners

You know when you're talking to someone and they are trying to explain their friend that they want you to meet? This is what happens in my head.

person: oh my gosh, I can't wait for you to meet my friend. You will just love her. She is soo cute and funny.

my brain: why would I want to meet a girl that is cuter or funnier than ME?

You know when your teacher in Young Women's tell you to make a choice ahead of time that you're not going to drink alcohol or get pregnant outside of marriage?
I usually decide ahead of time that I don't like things when people tell me that I will love them.